In this month of love and friendship, it seems that the entire environment is dyed in pink and red colors, there are paper hearts, multicolored flowers in stores and supermarkets, even

so stuffed animals of different styles and sizes, as well as cookies and cupcakes decorated with flowers and meringue hearts; In short, the atmosphere is filled with a thousand things to celebrate and wait for romance to take over our lives.

Now, while it is true that romance is something that both men and women can long for, and that generally occurs more during the courtship stage, it must be taken into account that it is this idea of ​​romance or romantic love.

The idea and peculiar characteristics of romantic love are generally transmitted through the media, both in Hollywood and Disney films, in the highly acclaimed novels, in books based on romantic novels and even in children's stories. All this information that is provided to the general public makes people believe that there is a person who will be “my better half”, someone who is ideal and tailored to each person, and that jealousy is proof of the love that is felt for the couple. These beliefs can justify: "I'm jealous of you because I love you, you are my property, because you were born to be my partner", all of this leads to what is known as: "unhealthy relationships."

To learn a little more about unhealthy relationships, it is very enlightening to know what healthy relationships are. Healthy relationships are those relationships where each person feels connected and supported, and are made up of the following characteristics:

  1. Mutual respect means that each member of the couple understands and values the other and understands the other's limits.
  2. Trust: trust is very important so that a healthy bond can be established, it is necessary to give the couple the benefit of the doubt.
  3. Honesty: to build trust, honesty is necessary. If the partner lies, trust will be damaged and it will be difficult to rebuild it again.
  4. Commitment: healthy couples are characterized by the ability to negotiate, to be flexible and aware that they have to give in sometimes. That there are different points of view and that it is necessary to give, as well as receive.
  5. Individuality: Each member has an identity and should not change their way of being to please their partner. Likewise, each member can socialize with the friends that each one chooses and make new friends, without the approval of the other, as well as dedicate themselves to healthy hobbies of their choice.
  6. Good communication: it is one of the pillars of healthy relationships. For there to be mutual understanding, understanding and for there to be no misunderstandings, and therefore trust, there needs to be good communication.
  7. Anger control: it is a key point that the couple can control their angry feelings so that there is good communication and to avoid hurting the couple. There are ways to control anger, such as deep breathing, counting to ten, as well as expressing feelings.
  8. Problem solving: life's problems will arise, but the important thing is that there is the ability to solve them in a healthy way. In order to do so, couples need to communicate properly and know how to work as a team.
  9. Understanding: for there to be a healthy relationship, empathy is very important, that is, each member can put themselves in the other's shoes, or “in their shoes” so that there is a good understanding.
  10. Self-confidence: when a person trusts themselves, they have no need to jealous or control their partner. There is respect for the opinion of the couple and that he or she can have a different opinion, without imposing control on the other. This is one of the pillars of healthy relationships.

Healthy relationships extend to all the relationships we establish, it does not only refer to the bond with our partner. Education about healthy relationships provided from childhood can protect our loved ones from any type of violence. It is very common that violence can be invisible when the characteristics of healthy love are not recognized and when one lives in an environment where relationships with the primary family were characterized as unhealthy.

A reflection that comes to mind is, would it not be more beneficial in this month of February, the month of love and friendship, for us to reflect, educate and promote healthy relationships? Wouldn't it be wonderful to give a new meaning to the word love, equating it with the definition and characteristics of healthy relationships? This is my gift today for you, happy day of love and friendship.