Migratory grief: Missing your country and your family during the holidays
Short answer: Migratory grief is the sadness and nostalgia for everything left behind when migrating: family, food, language, and customs. It is usually felt more strongly during the holidays, and it is a normal reaction, not a weakness. If the sadness lasts for weeks or prevents you from sleeping, working, or enjoying anything, talking about it in therapy can help.
November and December bring gatherings, lights, and "happy holidays" messages. For many people living far from their home country, they also bring a void that is difficult to explain. At Therapy Works, we support this process in Individual therapy in Spanish, with a bilingual team that understands where you're coming from.
What is migratory grief?
It is the emotional process of adapting to everything that is lost or changes when you leave your country. It is not a single loss, but many small ones at the same time.
What is missing usually includes:
- Family and Friends that are still there.
- The language and the way you joke that no one else understands.
- The food, the music, the weather and the smells of home.
- The seat you occupied: your job, your neighborhood, the people who have always known you.
It has something different from other forms of grief: what you miss still exists. That's why it can come and go for years, and come back with a vengeance on special dates.
Why does it hurt more during the holidays?
The holidays revolve around family and traditions. When the table is thousands of miles away, the difference is more noticeable.
Some common reasons are:
- Rituals remind us of what is missing: the posadas, the Christmas Eve dinner, the leftovers, or the New Year's embrace.
- Video calls help, but they're not enough. Sometimes they leave a feeling of being there and not being there.
- Social media encourages comparison. You see everyone gathered together and feel like you're the only one who's far away.
- End-of-year fatigue it comes with work, expenses, and expectations.
- A recent loss It hurts twice as much if you couldn't say goodbye in person.
If you identify with the loneliness you feel when everyone seems happy (article in English), you're not exaggerating: it's a very common experience.
Is what I'm feeling normal, or do I need help?
Feeling nostalgic, crying to a song, or being more sensitive in December is part of grief. What matters is how long it lasts and how much it limits you.
| It is usually part of the grieving process | A sign that it is advisable to ask for help |
|---|---|
| Sadness on special occasions that then subsides | Feeling sad almost every day for more than two weeks |
| Feeling like crying when talking to your family | You stop enjoying things you used to like |
| Nostalgia when cooking or listening to music from there | Sleeping or eating much more or much less |
| Tougher days, but you keep up with your routine | You have trouble working, caring for your children, or leaving the house |
| Concern for your family far away | Constant worry that doesn't let you rest |
If several of the signs on the right sound familiar, also read symptoms of depression and when to ask for help y Signs that anxiety is no longer “just stress”Only an evaluation by a professional can determine if it is something else.
If you feel like you can't take it anymore or are thinking about hurting yourself, don't wait. Call or text 988: For Spanish, dial 988 and press 2, or text the word AYUDA to 988. It's free, confidential, and available 24/7. More information at Línea 988 de Prevención del Suicidio y Crisis. In an emergency, call 911.
What can you do to get through the holidays better?
It's not about stopping missing someone, but about making room for nostalgia without letting it paralyze you. Try what works for you:
- Give yourself permission to feel. Pretending that everything is fine is usually more tiring than admitting that you're hurting.
- Plan your calls. Arrange a schedule with your family instead of waiting for it to “happen.”
- Bring your tradition with you. Cook that dish, play that music, or teach your children a custom from there.
- Create a new tradition. Blending what's from over there with what's from here is also about belonging.
- Look for your people nearby. Friends, neighbors, or colleagues who are also far away can be your chosen family.
- Set limits on social media on the most sensitive days.
- Take care of the basics: Get enough sleep, eat on time, and get some exercise.
If you're the one who supports everyone, here and there, maybe this will help you. Being the strong daughter isn't saving you: it's exhausting you..
What if the whole family experiences it differently?
In the same household, everyone experiences grief in their own way. The parents miss their homeland; the children who grew up here may not feel the same way, and that can lead to clashes at family gatherings.
Talking about it as a family helps you understand each other instead of blaming each other. The family therapy in spanish works well with changes like migration or bereavement that affect everyone.
How does therapy help with migration grief?
Therapy gives you a confidential space to put into words what you miss, what you gained, and what still hurts. With your therapist, you work at your own pace, without judgment.
- in your language Our entire team is bilingual in Spanish and English.
- Whichever works best for you: in-person in Dallas, Bedford, Garland, and Frisco, or online video therapy from anywhere in Texas.
- 50-minute sessions, usually weekly.
- We accept insurance such as Blue Cross Blue Shield, Aetna, Cigna, UnitedHealthcare, and more. We help you verify your coverage.
- Your first consultation is without obligation.
You can see opening hours and addresses on our contact us page.
Frequently asked questions
What is migratory grief?
It is the sadness and nostalgia for what is left behind when migrating: family, language, food, customs, and the place one occupied. It is a normal process that can come and go over the years.
Why do I feel worse at Christmas and the end of the year?
Because the holidays revolve around family and traditions, and that makes what's missing more noticeable. Year-end fatigue and social media also play a role.
When to Seek Professional Help
If the sadness lasts more than two weeks, you stop enjoying things, or you have trouble working, sleeping, or taking care of your family. If you are thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988 immediately.
Can I receive online therapy in Spanish?
Yes. We offer video therapy in Spanish from anywhere in Texas, as well as in-person sessions at our four offices in Dallas–Fort Worth.
Does my insurance cover therapy?
We accept Blue Cross Blue Shield, Aetna, Cigna, UnitedHealthcare, and more. Call us and we'll help you verify your coverage with no obligation.
Talk to someone who understands you
Missing someone is a way of loving what you left behind. You don't have to spend these holidays carrying the burden alone. Call us at (972) 695-3421 or message us on WhatsApp, and we'll help you schedule your first session.
