How to achieve goals that we can achieve? by Michelle Quintero.

I bet you, like many others, have set a New Year's resolution in the past. Maybe it's getting up early, going to the gym, or promising yourself you won't eat your favorite sweets so often. The first weeks of January are going very well for you, but in mid-February... it becomes more difficult to keep those promises. Perhaps you have heard the phrase “the diet starts tomorrow.”

A 2007 study showed that only 12 percent of people who set resolutions are successful, although 52 percent of participants were confident of success at the beginning.

How can we avoid falling into the 88 percent of people who couldn't meet their goals?

I hope some of the following tips can help you stay motivated and help you set goals you can achieve.

Think about your “why?”

Motivation will run out in a few days to a few weeks. Setting goals is easy, but sticking to them is a different story. One way you can stick to your goals is to think about the reason you are here, doing what you are doing. If you decide you want to start waking up earlier, why do you think this is an important goal for you? Maybe it's because you want to have more time during the day or you want to start reading in the morning, or you'd like to get used to the schedule and not feel like you're dragging yourself out of bed every day. “Why is it important to you? Having a concrete WHY can be the reminder you need when motivation runs out.

Set goals you can control

One mistake people make is setting goals that are out of their control. Goals like: I will be in a relationship this year, I will own a house, I will have a good relationship with my mother… all of these goals have external factors that I CANNOT predict. Maybe you won't be able to meet anyone you like this year, or maybe the real estate market is stable (have you seen that lately?), how do we know if the other person will reciprocate? The above goals are good predictors of failure. Instead of setting goals like the ones above, set goals that get you closer to what you want. Instead of “I'm going to be in a relationship,” say “I'm joining Facebook dating.” Instead of “I will own a home,” say “I will try to research or contact a sales agent.” Instead of “I will have a good relationship with my mom,” say “I will try to call her once a week.” Setting goals like these will make it easier for you to do YOUR part.

Build on existing habits

I want to make it easier for you to meet your objectives. There's a fancy term called “synaptic pruning,” synapses are connections between the neurons in your brain. The basic idea is that your brain eliminates connections between neurons that are not used and creates connections that are used more frequently. For example, if you practice playing the piano for 10 years, then your brain will strengthen the connections between those musical neurons. The more you practice, the stronger the connections become. So when it comes to developing new habits, you can use the behavioral connection to your advantage. One of the best ways to develop a new habit is to identify a current habit that you already do every day and then build on your new behavior. (Clear, J. (2020, February 4). How to Develop New Habits by Leveraging Old Ones.)

After repeatedly building up new habits, we can get closer to the goals we want. Let's say your goal this year is to start reading more, you can build habits like this: “After I brush my teeth, I will read for 5 minutes.” Then at the next time you can increase it to 10 minutes and so on.

Set SMART goals.

In English, the word “smart” means “ready”, so SMART goals are actually “Goals that are READY”, but we will stick to the acronym in English. This acronym can help you have an outline for your goals. Let's say you want to build a better relationship with your family.

S – (Specific) objectives that are specific. Avoid setting a goal that is vague. You shouldn't be able to misinterpret or confuse him. The family in this case is too vague. Think about who or what. So instead, say “I want to build a better relationship with my sister.”

M – (Measurable) goals that are measurable. You should be able to track your progress. So for this goal above, “I will make an effort to talk to her once a week on the phone and plan a visit every two weeks.”

A – (Attainable) goals that are achievable. The objective must be realistic. In a 2014 study, 35 percent of participants who failed at their New Year's Resolutions said they had unrealistic goals (New Year's Resolution Statistics (updated in 2022). Discover Happy Habits. (2022, August 22.) as it would require a lot of money and effort to visit regularly.

R – (Related) goals that are relevant. The goal should be relevant to you. It must be aligned with your values, dreams and ambitions. “I want to build better connections with my family members, so I'll start with her.”

T – (Time-Bound) goals that are limited in time. There has to be a deadline for completion. Vague deadlines do not create a sense of urgency on your part. Deadlines can actually be a good motivator for us. “I will start visiting her starting at the end of this month and will reassess in 6 months.”

Don't make the mistake this year of setting unrealistic goals, otherwise you will be disappointed.

Instead, practice self-compassion for the past you and start setting more achievable goals using the strategies mentioned above.

If you feel like you need more support with your goals this year. Consider working with a professional who can help you sort through other factors that get in the way of goal setting.

Happy goal setting!

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