It's common for people to set goals at the beginning of the new year. Goal setting is important for our psychological well-being because we want to feel good about ourselves not only in terms of our achievements but also in terms of our aspirations.

Now in 2023, many begin to reflect on the objectives achieved, as well as not achieved, in 2022. But, what happens if you do not achieve your goals of the year? To begin with, what is a goal? A goal is a desired result or state achieved by a person's habits and ambition. People constantly set personal goals, such as career goals, relationship goals, or goals related to personal traits.

When a person does not achieve the year's goals, the result is usually an acute negative effect such as feelings of shame, annoyance, incompetence, discouragement, or also reinforcement of already low self-esteem. According to Strauman (2002), the Chronic inability to achieve or progress toward goals is associated with ongoing distress and the possible development of disorders such as depression, low self-esteem, and anxiety.

How to overcome acute negative effects:

There are many reasons why a person does not achieve their goals: not knowing how to achieve the goal, insufficient willpower, lack of support (such as emotional or family), facing mental health disorders, or facing adversity (for example, illness, economic recession, divorce, or death of a loved one). The following steps can help you overcome negative feelings and thoughts:

1. The first step is recognize how you feel. You can share how you feel with a trusted family member, partner, friend, or loved one. If you don't have a trusted person or support system, consider writing down your feelings and thoughts in a journal.

2. The second step is to recognize that you did the best you could. Despite an ongoing pandemic, a busy holiday season, among so many other events in your life, it's important to give yourself a little grace.

3. The third step is do something healthy that you like. For example, going for a walk with your pets, talking to a loved one, watching a funny movie, painting your nails, or any other activity to feel better.

4. The fourth step is to practice a mindfulness exercise. Increased mindfulness can result in a reduction in symptoms of anxiety (due to thinking about the future), stress, and depression. Here is a resource to practice deep breathing: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/deep-breathing-worksheet?language=

5. The fifth and final step is reflect on your goals for the year, specifically what you accomplished and what you didn't accomplish. Even if you didn't achieve a goal, don't deny your progress, as there is power in small victories.

Seek professional help if negative feelings continue for more than two weeks.

How to achieve goals: Therapist Aid offers the following tips to achieve goals:

1. Start with small changes: Make gradual changes toward the behavior you want and go from there. Even if you improve on something just 1% each week, the changes that accumulate over months or years are massive.

2. Update your environment: Make changes that encourage your new habit and discourage unwanted habits. 

3. Tell someone that you are starting a new habit. This creates responsibility and makes it harder to walk away from your commitment. Additionally, once others know that you are working toward a goal, they can offer encouragement and support.

4. Keep track of your habit. Use a journal, calendar, or spreadsheet to keep track of your habit each time you do it. It can be satisfying to keep track of your behavior and then look back and see all the hard work you've done. It can also be motivating to maintain a good streak of habits.

5. Celebrate your successes. Healthy habits often offer long-term benefits that take time to take effect. While this is happening, don't forget to give yourself small immediate rewards to keep you motivated. Just make sure they don't contradict your goals.

We wish you all the best in your achievements this year!

About

Naomi Rios

My goal is to provide a safe, trusting, non-judgmental and encouraging environment for you to express yourself freely. You are the expert of your own life, but I will help you navigate your emotions, difficulties and goals.