The expectations that the world demands of us mothers today are immeasurable, unrealistic, unattainable, frustrating. Far from bringing more harmony and satisfaction to fulfilling the role of being a mother – it can bring us feelings of resentment, tiredness and never feeling enough. Here I tell you a little about how to be a mother and not die trying.

You don't want to be like your friend

You are you- and your friend is her. They have different lives, different pasts, different stories, different resources, different support, surely different personalities and so we can explain to ourselves that you and your friend are not the same. Wanting to do and be like the neighbor across the street or what your friend tells you she does or is like a mom will only make you start comparing yourself with someone who will always be better than you. She will always be better than you at being her. You have to focus on your capabilities, on what you know how to do and what you have to contribute as a mother. At the end of the day, your children need the best of you, not the best of your friend.

Not everything you see is real

Social networks, television commercials, movies and novels are not always reality. Comparing yourself to 1 minute of an influencer's recording on her social network is not fair to you. You don't know what that person experiences on a daily basis and what they show you is what they want to show you. Wouldn't you show the most intense scolding you have given your children, the one you would like to erase from the picture, to be judged by hundreds on your Facebook? Stop comparing your role as a mom to someone's minute and a half on some public platform.

We all have different talents.

There will be moms who love to cook and others who love to play, others who like to read and others who like to go for a walk. Stand out in the talents you want to be and can be. No one else has your talents and your children need to see you develop them to learn that it doesn't matter what you're good at – whatever you're good at. Besides, no one is good at everything (not even your friend who seems to be)

Being a mom is just a role, you are much more than that.

What were you and what did you do before becoming a mother? What are your dreams and goals to achieve? Keep focusing on that. Being a mother is a role that you will develop in different ways throughout your life, but ultimately it does not have to be the only role you play. Don't forget the person you are and the needs you have. If you only focus on the role of mother, you will be leaving aside the other roles that you surely need to feel satisfied: the role of friend, the role of partner, the role of sister, the role of citizen, the role of professional, among others.

And the million dollar question: What is best for our children?

Do you know mothers who dedicate themselves solely to raising their children? Working moms? Moms who work, take care of their parents, and the house? You will surely meet women who have many roles and one of them is that of mother. Which is best for children? The answer is simple - however we make it very complicated. The best thing for your children is to do what makes you happy. If you work, study, take care of your parents, and are a mother and do the best you can, then that is the best for your children. If you stay at home and that's what you focus on and feel fulfilled, then that's the best thing for your children. The example you give them of fighting for what makes you feel fulfilled will make you the best mother in the world for them.

Focus on being a sufficient mom – not a perfect mom.

This was the best advice I have ever received about motherhood. My Clinical Supervisor gave it to me years ago when I had just finished studying for a master's degree in counseling. And whenever I can I pass on these wise words that take so much weight off my shoulders. Being perfect is impossible and expecting to do everything well will always be unattainable. Our children need to know that being human is okay and enough. When we give ourselves permission to be the human beings that we are, we will make mistakes and we will correct them, we will fall and we will get up, we will say things that we do not mean and we will ask for forgiveness, we will surely regret it a thousand times and we will make decisions that after a while and respectively we could have done better. And from all this our children will learn to be more compassionate with themselves. And that is something we all need more of.

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Ana Marcela Rodríguez

She is a family therapist and founding couple of Therapy Works Counseling- the first 100% Hispanic office for Hispanics in North Texas. She along with her team provide psychological therapy to the Latino and bilingual community in Texas.

Ana is also part of the non-profit organization Contigo Wellness, which helps provide therapy and information to the Hispanic community that needs it most.

Another of Ana Marcela's roles is that of wife, mother of two and a dog.